New beginning

Hello all.....
       It's been a few months since I have written anything...
  Last I wrote was on father's day and I have so much going on since then....
 It has been a long road to recovery. I had surgery on my right ankle on June 10th 2016... It was a series of 4 surgeries after the car accident... I am metal free. No more plates or screws. However, I have a lot of pain. It is a constant pain and it increases as the day progresses but, I refuse to give up or take any pain medication. I do not want to end up becoming dependent on anything but my prayers.
   SO I have returned to work and my work now is not what I am use to. I was a shop manager for DKNY Jeans at Macy's. Now I am a DCS...  It's a small company but what they do helps people. Its a senior home. I have learn to respect those in the medical field. Everything that they do is from the heart. So under pay and so much responsibility.  I have some great new co-workers. I'm happy for right now. I feel that I have a calling to be there. I do not know why.

Happy Fathers Day

     Hello to all and I hope your day is as bless as mine is...... Although I am in so much pain. I guess it can always be worse. Believe me I know. Really...
     I would like to say Happy Father's Day to all the men that are real father's. Not those that come around once in a blue and make promises he can not keep or those who abandoned their children or better yet those that feel that just because they pay child support gives them a pass of not being involve in the child's life. Money does not buy you a certificate of great Father...
    I always wanted a man like my father is . I say is because we are still bless to have him here on this earth with us. My dad is a very serious man. He is very stern, hard working and always has a no bullshit attitude. Very honest. We say very blunt. He can never lie because you see exactly was going on in his face. He wears his feelings very well ,and if he doesn't wear it, he will tell you.
  My father sounds awful to some people but, he is totally the opposite. We have the strong characteristics from him and my sister has his short temper. Something I am sure she loves...My dad before he retired was a hard working man. He raise 5 children with minimal income. My mother was a stay at home mom for a while and he worked 2 jobs at a time. My dad is not a very educated man. He left school when he was 12 years of age and back home in his country, he was old enough to work to bring money for his family. You see he was a son of 5 and his father left them. My dad had no real father in the most prime time of his life. No one to show him how to be a man and take care of his family. The sacrifices that real men do for the benefit of their families. Some how he turn out the best. So here is a 12 year old boy having to go to work to provide for his siblings and mom. He came to the USA on a working visa back in the 60's in the hopes of finding a better tomorrow for his family that he now had. At the time he had three sons and no work. He found work immediately and send money back home to his mother who in return was giving to his sons. He sometimes found work in the ice cold weather on a scaffold in the big high rise buildings in New York City cleaning windows. As well when he met my mother and decided he was having a family with her, he worked in a car washing facility in the freezing cold outside. So he always had 2 jobs. When my mother and he married, she being a immigrant as well on a student visa herself, they decided to stay and become citizens and my dad sent for his sons. This was driving him nuts the fact that he felt like his father, he felt like he abandoned his sons although it was for totally different reasons. He never just up and left and forgot them. He left to be able to provide financially for them. My brothers finally received their visa and came to the USA. By now I was about 5 years old and my little sister was born. She was a few months. It took years for my brothers to get their visa's even though my father paid a lot of money for a lawyer to take care of all the paper work. We all turn out good kids. I believe I was the most troublesome than any of my siblings.Here I am married with 4 children and 3 grandkids a dog and although I have had some not so very good things happen to me lately, I stand still on my father's sacrifices and his life and utilize them as a example of real suffering and real accomplishments. All he wanted was to raise a family and he ended up raising 2....... I love him with all that I breath and until God calls him , he will always be my first priority. For all that he was is all that I am today...I owe him the world for just being there and showing us real sacrifices and what to look for in a husband and for my brothers what it is like to be a man and take care of his family. We all call him "La Ley".... in spanish. This means the law in english. He was the sheriff in our home, the King and to me my daddy...
        In closing , to all the real Father's  have a wonderful day today and always and remember although your sacrifices may seem like nothing today, your children will appreciated later on...

Happy Birthday

Hello all and hope everyone is in Gods grace today. I am doing much better , still in pain but needless to say compare to last year, im almost at 100 percent. Just wish this cast can come of. I should have about 60 stitches and its wrapped up good but do they have to cast it as well, ugghhh...It bothers so bad.
  I want to say my babygirl turn 25 this year. I am extremely proud of her. In such small years, she has accomplished so much and still going. I just couldnt be greatful enough to our heavenly father up above for watching and guiding over her. She lives in Florida and im in Pennsylvania so its not easy to take care of things from here.
   These days im busy trying to help raise my grandaughter. My oldest is wonderful but my grandaughter needs an expert. I laugh at how she tries to manipulate her mom and Pop pop.... she knows im onto her ...
   Well enjoy your fathers day and I hope those men that have truly been in your lives whether an uncle, brother, step brother, step dad and dad really feel appreciate. Let them know that they mean the world to you and that you are so ever thankful for all their sacrifices.
  God Bless

Im sorry

  Hello to all.... Im so sorry that it has taken me this long to write but, Ive been a bit busy.
    Hope you are all doing well in health, life and everything good God has to offer on this earth.
     Let me do a fast-foward of my life in the last few months. So in January I was on disability from my job of 20 years and in February I was let go due to the fact that I did not have a definite day to go back to work as per my Dr. So in March I was crazy filing out applications and in April I found a job. I wanted to continue in my line of work were im more comfortable at but I decided to start a new career. Unfortunately its not one that pays much. Last months gross earning were as equal to what I am use to making in a week. But, I enjoy the people I work for.There is something about feeling needed. I do not know how much longer I will be doing this job, but for now it is fulfilling what I need.
   I just had surgery on March and again June.... As we speak ,Im laying on my bed with a cast on. I do not get to see my Dr until the end of this month, so for now all is ok over my way.....

Thanking God for another Day

      Hello to all. Hope to was great. Happy Birthday to my son who turns 22 years of age today. I can not believe that time is flying like this. It's crazy because I remember just yesterday cutting him a spiderman cake. Now he is a grown man. Wow.
      Now that that is out of the way allow me to go off..... Like usual.
I have never been a shallow person. I try to do things as I expect to be done to me and I truly live by that code. Treat others as you expect them to treat you. I have a story for you. For those who know me know that I have two daughter's from a previous marriage. Before you judge let me explain. I was a very young girl at the time and thought I wanted to be grown so I chose to leave my home and went and moved in with my boyfriend at the time. Long story short . I got married had two daughter's with this man had and found out that we had nothing in common.I loved my daughter's and myself more than his fist. My girls are now 26 and 24 so this happened a very long time ago. I was blessed and found a wonderful man that took my girls as if they were his own. He had a daughter of his own so we instantly became a big family. My girls were 2 going on 3 and months old going on 1. So they were very young. Now for a long time their father was not in the picture because he moved out of the state so my girls did not remember their father much, and nor did he come visit or make arrangements to visit them. This kind of theme was going on for years. I eventually went to him and gave him visitation rights . For a long time things seemed ok . I do not like to question my girls much when they visited with their father. I wanted them to feel that it was their private time. My oldest enjoy to go where as my little one was more reluctant. Please keep in mind that both my girls consider my husband their dad and not their father for reason that they can only explain. After a while when the girls grow up and there is no longer a court order forcing them to go with their father , my youngest chose to dismiss her relationship with her father and my oldest kept in touch but also kept her distant. They did not feel a missing parent because my husband has always been there as their dad...... A few months back , my youngest daughter decided to move in with her father for a bit while she is taking a certification for teaching. She was only going to stay for 6 weeks but got a job offer and decided to stay for a bit.
       When you don't  know your child anymore, it is hard for two people to start were they left off specially if they way they left off was not in good terms. My daughter was tired of the promises and the lies that were promised to her and she has less tolerance than my oldest. now staying with someone that you really have no respect for is hard to as a father you would want to try to mend the things that are broken. This is my biggest problem and why I rant here instead. There are men that make mistakes acknowledge them , apologize and move on trying to make things better. But, then you have the idiots that know nothing and do not think that what they do are mistakes . Can no acknowledge their flaws and think that the world has to surround them. I have raised my children very independent and not to expect things from people but you would think that things would be a bit different if they are your own kids. Considering you have never really done anything for them, you would think that attempting to start at least a friendship with her wouldn't kill you but instead you complain about the petty things to start an argument because you are miserable in your marriage. I had told my daughter to move out long time ago but sometimes kids have it in their heart that they want answers and will stick it out. Finally big argument started and she was basically force to go and stay in a hotel room and find a place. I am happy about that. She is use to her own space and being independent so having her own place is what she needs all along. Now I say this kindly and asking the good man above to forgive me , but I hope you reap what you sow......
        On a good note my daughter seems so relief and happy. She try something and it didn't work out so she had to move on. Some doors are not meant to be reopen... Good night

Congrats.....

 A big congratulations to the Carolina Panthers for advancing .... this is your year.

 This is my husband's team and I am happy for him.

Hello to all. Hope you had a bless day today. I had the privilege of watching the two football games with my family. The Pittsburgh Steelers did not make it through , but good try. Congrats to Peyton Manning and the Broncos for advancing. This is my father in laws team. So let's see what next week holds for us.

On another note, today I want to talk about motherhood. I might be stepping on a lot of toes but, remember it's an opinion. My opinion. I have not been the best mother or nor do I pretend to have been. However I have always been there for my children. I have never put anything or anyone in front of them. There have been times when I wonder if I can be a mom and do the things that life hits you with but, ask God for help and he will allow you to do what you want. With spare time. I use to have 3 small children and a job and responsibilities at home like any other mom. I am married and was married then. I get criticize at times because I made my marriage work and had my husband here to help with the children but as we all know that most men can be babies themselves so it's like having another child to the pack except this one has much more mouth (lol). I never understood a mother that put's other things or people in front of their children. 

When I met my husband, he knew that I had two daughter's. I knew he had a daughter himself. At this point is when you decide if you want to continue this relationship or not. My husband had every right to not want to see me anymore and pursue a relationship with me as I had that right. When you make a commitment to be with a woman with children or accept a man with children, understand that you are making dates with the kid's as well. Why do you feel that after you have chosen to be with her or him that you can chose not to want the children that go along with this package. Now me personally I would have drop the loser because there is nothing more important on this earth than the children you brought to this world. I read a lot and see different things . This youth today is being raise by their grandparents that are too old to really be raising children and therefore they are getting away with murder(not literally). They do and say whatever they want  because the parenting is not being done by the original parents but by their grandparent's who should be retiring instead of raising children all over again. I despise mother's like this and to make matters worse you want to know why your child does not want to talk to you when you call. You should have chose the kids and not the man. Your children will always be there in good and bad, but your man will find a new you and when he leaves you because it will happen and you find your kids grown and not wanting anything to do with you don't cry then. It's too late. Always choose your kids. You as a woman are so important in your kids life you just do not even realize it.

 Ill be praying for your trouble minds that feel that can not be without a man, and choose them and not their children. Examine your lives and see what is not right about that picture.

God is love.....

An angel...

    Hello to all..... It's a day to feel uggghhh... I have just been home all day feeling gloomy. I think it's the weather. Or it might just be the fact that I'm bored to death with my life. Although it's what I thought I wanted , I so miss my job. It's been hard for me who is an active person to just sit around most of my day's an pray that today will be a better day. The pain that I sometimes feel , no one can understand or relate unless you have gone through the same things exactly.
   A few days ago my niece was born. I was so happy for my sister. She is officially a grandmother. Now her and I can share stories. I have three grandchildren myself and unless you are a grandma you wouldn't understand. Now I finally have something more to share with my sister. We both have grandaughter's. They are so precious. For me , my grandaughter is a reminder of my daughter. All the mistakes that I had made in my life , is like an opportunity for a do over.  I love my precious times with her. She reminds me so much of my daughter at that age. I hope that she knows she is so loved...
    Well enough, just enjoy your day and hope to share another day with you guys soon.. May God Bless You...

The New Youth

     Good day to all my brother's and sister's in Christ. I hope your day was full of blessings as our heavenly father intended it to be. My life I can say has change drastically in the last seven months but , I am not going to complain. My heavenly father has provided for me. My family has had to make adjustments but at the end of the day it's the way things should be. I can never say Thank you enough......

    My new addition to my family has been my husband's nephew. I guess you can say my nephew. I have been in the married to my husband since 1994 and so you can imagine that I have seen his family go through a lot. My nephew has been a new way for us to kill the urge to be parents again. Fast forward 14 years. That is how old he is. So it just reminds us how lucky we were with our children. My youngest child is 21. He will turn 22 on the 28th of this month. We don"t have Drs. and lawyers etc... but what we do have is children that work hard and are giving and loving. They are not into drugs and drinking and partying... basically wasting their lives away. They are trying to live the american dream of getting married having children and owning a piece of something in this country. It's what we taught them and what we live by. Parents today have to be very careful what they do and say around their children. There minds are like sponges it absorbs everything. If you are lucky, they will take everything good you taught them instead of the bad. So I am praying that my nephew is like my kid's and do well in school while he is up here from Virginia.... only time will tell. I can only pray and let God do his will. In the meantime I'll have me a glass of wine.
      Keep me in your prayers as I will pray for you. Do not let the things that you have done wrong discourage you from your goal. I have fallen so many times and yet somehow I have the strength to get up....

Winter has arrived

Hello,
    Finally I have to say it's Jan. 12, 2016 in the middle of our actual winter and here in the Pocono Mountains it has finally snowed. Understand we are known for our wintry snow weather and so far we had a little bit of dust back in October. This winter has been tough for business here these year. People come out here for the ski slopes and snow tubing... Christmas the tempature was around 65 degrees. I am not complaining at all but,  the water is really needed in our state...Hope today you are in a safe enviorment warm and cozy...May God Bless you today and always...

Merry late Christmas

  Hello to all... May God be with you now and always... All the end of the year holiday's have come and gone and Niw it January.. A new year. I pray that 2016 is your best year yet , full of blessings and love next to your loved ones..... I have not returned to work... If you remember back in June 2015, I was in an automotive accident. It has me feeling a little edgy because I dont feel like I am ever going to get better. I still limp and need a cane. Also they have found liquid on my left knee and my Dr. said I might need surgery if the six weeks of therapy do not work. So we will see the outcome in Feb.... I just wanted to take a few moments of your time to share a late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year....