Saturday, July 25, 2015

           Good afternoon to all.... I want to start of by giving thanks to our heavenly father who cares for us although at times we feel we do not deserve....I want to be clear that there are days that I definitely feel like I do not deserve all the blessings that I have receive from up above. Now do not think for a minute that i'm suicidal. As soon as you have doubts of your existence , people automatically think that you want to commit suicide. I know that there are circumstances that people do need to follow up on but, in what I have witness on the news all those who are suffering from mental health have not show signs or spoken freely about how they feel and  I do believe that a lot of times when we do need to pay attention we do not. Its easier to turn the cheek and pretend that it doesn't exist in our lives but it does.
           I might be criticize for what I just said but remember its just an opinion. Everything is only base on what I have dealt with and what I see.
          Let me tell you a little something about my life.One of my children was diagnose a bit late with bipolar symptoms. Now this may not mean much to whose reading but believe me as a mother this is war in my house on a constant basis. When I realize that I needed to get my daughter to see a therapist , I felt like  I fail as a mother. I felt that I have been finally punish for how I treated my own parents and karma was about to get me, but why with my child.....
           Every therapist in this world (let me not exaggerate) at least the ones that I took my daughter to wanted to medicate her. Her mood swings were all over the place and at first I was going to agree. Who would this benefit I asked myself. My child who look like she was confused or me . It would ease the yelling the attitude the mood swings all the hateful arguments but would this help her or me.
I chose to look for alternative things to do. So her and I both learn to talk more. We learn the best way to deal with a mood swing is to know when its coming and see what is triggering it. My daughter is now 26, this happen when she was 12. She can probably tell you that she is grateful that she was taught how to deal with the emotions and feelings and how to cope, than me giving her a pill and hope it would just go away.... She is a mature woman now with a daughter and although her mood swings will never go away , she doesn't feel like she is crazy or useless. We talk things out and she is an inspiration to me. Her struggles are mine after all I am her mother.
          What I learn was how to communicate with my children. I learn how to be a friend when needed, a listener (even though at times I just wanted to yell), be an adviser when asked and best of all a mom...

           Just love your children but let them know you love them, even when you just want to kill them. Its the most gratifying feeling when they grow up and say thanks mom for all you have sacrifice for me... don't be so quick to give up

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