Always on the go

 Hello to all. Hope that you had a great weekend full of blessings that the Lord has given you. It has not been so bad for me. Although I am not walking or running , I am able to put a bit of weight on my foot and so it gives me hope that I will soon be able to walk without my walker.
  So today I want to vent about my youngest daughter. She is 24 years of age. Not really a little girl but you know what they say, they are always your babies. Now I have always trusted her judgement and never really questions her motives. She has always been a A student. A great gpa score. Our book worm at home and she really loves school. She has done great for herself. Right out of high school she applied to a college all the way out in California. We live in Pennsylvania. So you can see how scare I was but we had faith in her and how can I say no to this opportunity that she had worked so hard for. So we packed her up and went out on a road trip. What an experience that was. Definitely took that off my bucket list. So after a semester it was not quite what she had expected and so she transfer back to the east coast. She ended up choosing Hofstra University and finish her Bachelors at St. John University in New York. Now she had moved back home and had a change of career choice so she was going to go to Marywood University but ended up getting accepted to a program in Florida. Now although she rented a small townhouse and lived by herself, we still had her close by. It was just a small drive. Now she is moving to Florida......Oh My God now what.... I'm not worried about her being far , I am worry because i'm afraid she is running. Although I know that she is strong minded and really chooses what she wants and follows through with it, I can not help myself but think that this is more than meets the eye. I hope I am wrong. I pray to the almighty to please do me another favor and help me watch over our child. I hope that i'm just having a hard time of letting go. She reminds me of myself so much. When I am ready to move, I just go. I never had put any obstacles in my way. Always did what I thought would be best for my children and myself . Now that I come to think about it , I guess it was mostly for myself...

    Hello to all. Many blessings your way. I hope that everything is well in you neck of the woods. I started my physical therapy and although it has only been two sessions, I feel like I have achieved so much already... Yeah on my way to recovery. I just can not wait to walk. To be able to do the things around my house. I would like to be able to enjoy all that the Pocono's has to offer. My husband and I have a side business and we clean summer rentals. People come from all over and rent this beautiful homes for their vacation stay. Not to brag but the Poconos truly is a place to visit all year around. It is the reason why I move here. Ever since I was a little girl I always dream that one day I would come here to visit. Watching the commercials to Mount Airy lodge at the time when I was young, I just knew that that is where I wanted to have my honeymoon. However , I never even thought in a million years that I would be able to afford a piece of this pie. My story started in New York. I was a young girl with a child struggling and ended moving to Virginia. Although it was beautiful there, the opportunities financial that I needed was not available to me. Making life there to difficult. By now you can imagine I am married and have three children and not the one I went down there with. So my husband and I decided that we would move back to New York with my parents look for jobs and then get our own place, And just like we plan , we did just that. But..... I have always been an over achiever, always wanted more out of life and never like to settle... I just feel like life has more to offer as long as we are willing to go after it. An ad in the paper caught my attention about buying a co-op apartment. So I applied and never in a million years did we expect to receive a call to talk to the board of directors about getting an apartment. Needless to say it was a great opportunity for us. It was 4 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms. It was perfect. I was in heaven until my eldest daughter started high school and then it all hit the fan...

The Pocono Raceway

   I had to be a mother and but her needs and the needs of my children first instead of mine. It was just a matter of time that my other children would fall in the same so I started looking at surrounding areas to move to. I look in Yonkers and Long Island and even Westchester but all not affordable. Now I started looking in New Jersey. Some affordable but not areas that the school had good reviews. I started to panic and then my lovely sister was invited to her bestfriend's sister's house out in the Pocono Mountain. So stars were in my eyes. It hit me... I was moving to the Pocono's.. I ask a lot of questions and did a lot of research. Now I just needed to look for a mortgage first. See most people look for a house first and therefore overbuy a house that they can not afford. I wanted to get qualify first and see what I can afford before I started looking. And so I did just that.I also needed to make sure that if I was going to keep my job , I needed to be close to the commuter bus. The rest is history... It has been a sacrifice but now I have 3 children that all graduated from high school and went to college. I can say that if needed to, I will do it all over again...

The Lakes are just breath taking..

Mount Airy Casino and Spa

And truly there is so much more like horseback riding, hiking for those who love nature at its best and there is kayaking...Tons of water parks and we have an outlet center that's about 100 stores for those who love to shop and save...

Missing them...

   I am not to good with the mushy stuff so let me say that I just miss my grandkids... My daughter lives in Virginia and I am not able to see my grandkids as often as I like...this summer I wanted my grandbabies to keep for a month but Im not able to. My car accident has left me disable so I can not watch them... excuse me while I vent... I truly apprecite just letting me go on and on...I know this comes out of nowhere but if I can not say how I feel here ,then were would you like to say it....

 Hello... lots of blessings your way ...

 Where do I start.. I went to my first physical therapy session today and all thy did was evaluate me to see what exactly I need. Next they work on my foot and gave me some exercises to do at home. So that is out of the way. I was very nervous about the Physical therapy appt. Next my granddaughter went to Florida. I know she is going to have a lot of fun and believe it or not I am sad. Since this accident , I have not been able to do anything with her.When I  do get up I am stuck using a walker  and can not go places and do nothing with her... I feel like she is not going to want to come home... I did find a picture she made me to look at while she is gone so that I won't miss her... She is great.
To finish it all of, my son returned to work today. I know he was excited but I was afraid for him. He has been here with me for 2 months. We were both in the car accident and he was hurt as well but God is a wonderful being that save not only me but spared my son as well...And now I am still alone in the house with limited things to do.... still can not stand on my own feet and still need the walker but I am grateful... truly could have been worst...

Hello to all. Hope your day is full of blessings seen an unseen.
I am doing good today. I do not feel as bad as usual. Hopefully the end of my storm is coming to an end and there is a rainbow waiting for me at the end. I had my second post op check up on the 29th of July and was release to be able to start physical therapy. The official start day is this tuesday and I have 3 times a week for 6 weeks of therapy coming my way. They say the worst is yet to come but I guess unless you have had a break in your ankle and two surgeries you can judge... So we will see how it goes, but what this means is that I am not able to go back to work as planned on the 2nd of Sept... Just send some prayers my way. I am going to need it......
  On another note my parents are visiting later this month from Ecuador. I am excited and nervous at the same time. My dad is in need of some medical treatments and my mom is just here to see her grandkids and great granddaughter. They will be staying with me.  I can not wait...
   Im going to share an inspirational quote I read ...

"The Lord hears people when they cry out to him, and he saves them from all their troubles..
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed,,"
                                                                                                    Psalm 34:17-18

Good day to all. Hope your day is good and bless.
   Today I would like to say that all who follow my blog know that I had been in a car accident almost two months ago and although you may say a lot of people are in car accidents, this car accident left me disable. I have a bad fracture to my right ankle among other stuff. So I have been suffering with enormous amount of pain. I can not sleep comfortably at night and almost can not sleep at all. For a while now I have been wondering why all this pain. I've been very angry at the thought that the person that hit me might just be roaming the streets while i'm in bed suffering and not able to work. I really can not move much. I have a walker that I need to use for everything so this limits my hand usage. Today I found out that the gentleman that was involved in the car accident with me has past due to drug overdose. As I had stated before I knew he was under the influence of narcotics because it was told to me by the police and he was charged with this and criminal charges for what has happened to me  because of this accident.Although I am in the middle of a lawsuit for damages ,hospital bills, etc.... I couldn't help but feel bad for his parents. This gentleman was only 27. My daughter's age. I had hope that the accident would have had more impact and helped him to change his life around. You know like a wake up call. I feel like I'm suffering for no reason now. He hit me while he was on drugs and he overdose and died. So what meaning did this accident have. I had hoped deep inside that he would change his life, so that I can say at least all this that i'm going through had meaning. I wanted to believe that I help turn his life around. But this is not the story.....
  Nothing can make me feel better right now. I just said a prayer for his family because after all I am a mother with children and I pray for them constantly. It is easier when they are small and at home you can protect your kids better but when they are grown and out on their own, it truly can become a parents nightmare.....

           Good afternoon to all.... I want to start of by giving thanks to our heavenly father who cares for us although at times we feel we do not deserve....I want to be clear that there are days that I definitely feel like I do not deserve all the blessings that I have receive from up above. Now do not think for a minute that i'm suicidal. As soon as you have doubts of your existence , people automatically think that you want to commit suicide. I know that there are circumstances that people do need to follow up on but, in what I have witness on the news all those who are suffering from mental health have not show signs or spoken freely about how they feel and  I do believe that a lot of times when we do need to pay attention we do not. Its easier to turn the cheek and pretend that it doesn't exist in our lives but it does.
           I might be criticize for what I just said but remember its just an opinion. Everything is only base on what I have dealt with and what I see.
          Let me tell you a little something about my life.One of my children was diagnose a bit late with bipolar symptoms. Now this may not mean much to whose reading but believe me as a mother this is war in my house on a constant basis. When I realize that I needed to get my daughter to see a therapist , I felt like  I fail as a mother. I felt that I have been finally punish for how I treated my own parents and karma was about to get me, but why with my child.....
           Every therapist in this world (let me not exaggerate) at least the ones that I took my daughter to wanted to medicate her. Her mood swings were all over the place and at first I was going to agree. Who would this benefit I asked myself. My child who look like she was confused or me . It would ease the yelling the attitude the mood swings all the hateful arguments but would this help her or me.
I chose to look for alternative things to do. So her and I both learn to talk more. We learn the best way to deal with a mood swing is to know when its coming and see what is triggering it. My daughter is now 26, this happen when she was 12. She can probably tell you that she is grateful that she was taught how to deal with the emotions and feelings and how to cope, than me giving her a pill and hope it would just go away.... She is a mature woman now with a daughter and although her mood swings will never go away , she doesn't feel like she is crazy or useless. We talk things out and she is an inspiration to me. Her struggles are mine after all I am her mother.
          What I learn was how to communicate with my children. I learn how to be a friend when needed, a listener (even though at times I just wanted to yell), be an adviser when asked and best of all a mom...

           Just love your children but let them know you love them, even when you just want to kill them. Its the most gratifying feeling when they grow up and say thanks mom for all you have sacrifice for me... don't be so quick to give up

Hello to all...
          Greetings and so forth, at this moment in my life I do not know what to say... I'm struggling so much with the pain that has become part of me, that i'm so confused about everything. I am very happy with the fact that the Lord has chosen to spare my son and myself from the car accident I was involved in, but I can not help but wonder why. I know for my son is because he is young and has a lot to still live. A young man innocent in mind but myself i'm a sinner..... Do I deserve to have been spare???? Now my car accident was not my fault. A man that was on drugs hit me head on while i'm on my way to my house. He came on to my lane. Hit my suv so hard that put it on its side. All I kept wondering was why was this man out here doing these things. The police officer stated to me that he was going to be charge criminally with what has happened to me but this does not stop the fact that I am hurt and disable. The Lord spare me. I only had an ankle fracture of my tibia and fibula and God only knows what else on the right ankle. I can not drive or walk on that foot so I am currently walking with a walker and a iron but to protect my foot. I had surgery with all this plates and pins inside that it burns like you wouldn't believe. I am going to enclose a lot of pictures so you all can have an idea of what I have been going through and its only been a month... but it feels like an eternity...

Just say a prayer of strength for a sister in christ.......

I feel so lonely.

Good evening to all... Its been a bit since I last blogged... I can say health wise im ok but mentally im depressed... Life as I know it will never be the same for me.. I have been so concern about this surgery and the rehabilitation process so ive been reading a lot of cases and I can say none of them look good... all of them complain about pain and soreness and even infection of the stitched area.... so you can imagine the fear that I have... although I fine myself to be a very religous woman at this moment my faith is being tested... I can not sleep and worst the pain keeps me up almost all night and day...every article I read tells me to take medication as directed but I feel like a drug addict and im afraid of being dependent on them... dont get me wrong there are times I have no choice and I have to but I want to try not to so I can handle things a bit better mentally and emotionally... I play games on my kindle and read my bible and just look at movies to keep me busy. It feels like forever before I can walk again and this is a long road... Nobody can understand how I feel and im tired of trying to make them understand... everyone always says I can imagine what you are going thru but they dont unless they have had the same fracture....All I ask is for prayer... im teally loosing it... I cry and pray for myself but its not enough ....need help... Thank you and msy God bless all of you tonight

Recooperating

Good day to all.... Happy Sunday as we are all alive today to enjoy... Here in the Pocono Mountains in Pa was cold this morning... My heater was actually turned on.. As you can imagine the scarring from the accident and all the stitches did not do good with this cold weather. It stung like hell....
I have been trying to keep positive in light of all the pain that im in.... I figured it can always be worst but Im so emotional from this whole thing, I can not stop crying...I feel helpless at times .... right now I can not even clean my own room.. For someone like myself thats very hyper this is torterous..

My Angel

   Hello to all.. As I sit or lay on my bed most of these days... I am feeling much better but so anxious. Never in a million years fid I ever ecpect to be put down like this. A minor setback a lot of people say but they do not know me well enough.
   I am a very active woman in my work and my community. I can not stand to stay still... My grandaughter comes over and just brings me so much joy. She is full of life. So vibrant that to her this will be over soon so  I can go play with her outside.... My angel from heaven she is... you just never know who is sent to be your angel at your difficult tome...

Look at me now

Good day to all... many blessings from me to you..as I am looking at the days go by I see progress but yet such a long recovery... my Dr. told me I might never recover at 100 percent and ill have lifetime of pain....ill let God be the judge of that.... I am a true believer of Jesus and I know he has all my interested at heart and he knows whats best for me..
     I had my second surgery since and I must say its easier not having and external cast outside of your foot...you do not have the worries of being able to hit it or get things stuck on it... and the best part is that its not heavy to carry around... but my surgery hurts and burns...
      when i get up to attempt a bathroom trip its just that a trip.. I have to use a walker but im more afraid of the pain that comes through my leg just getting up than anything else and then comes the burning feeling that goes through my toes... I have been belittle to the point that I can not even brush my teeth by myself or wash my hair, take a shower or even just wash up on my own... its upsetting me and all I can do is just cry.. i keep asking God to give me the strength to move on from this but they have no idea what this has done to my family..... I get angry and ask for forgiveness for my feelings.... I need to recover and fast...Pray for me all of you...please

surgery day

Good day to all.. many blessings from me to you.. Today I go in for the second phase of the reconstruction of my ankle/foot... as you may remember I had a car accident on June 1st and fracture my right ankle out of all places... So keep me in your prayers today... Although I know all will be well.. I am a child of the living God and he will never forsake me.

ouch....

Good day to all.
Peace be unto you today... I am on my way to get pre admission screening to see if Ill be ok for surgery tommorow.... the Drs. will be removing this temporary cast and starting to reconstruct my tibia and fibula which I fracture in a car accident that I was in on monday June 1st. Its been a hell of a week but at least I still have life.... I just want to get to the point of just healing and no pain meds and no casts ...

Light after darkness

Lord ...just thank you... After seeing my car in the conditions that it was I can only say thank you Jesus for lifting my son and myself and those individuals that struck my vehicle...we all manage to walk out with our lives in tact... I have a broken ankle and some bruises everywhere and my son has a swollen knee and some stitches on his hand.....God is good... I love the lord....

Spring is here

   Good morning all... hope you are having a blessed day in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ... I am only aharing this because I can not believe finally I see flowers... Its May 8th and no flowers in sight. The trees are barely blooming and making matters worst, no grass and no rain to help grow that which is planted in the ground. Yesterday I finally bought my first flower pot to plant. So happy. Weather is good and hopefully it will stay this way so that the flowers can grow.. after all this is spring... just a month away from summer... take care and enjoy the roses...

Happy Birthday

Just want to wish my grandbaby a Happy Birthday wish..... I love Jenelle and heres too many more years with our Lords blessings...

1st of the Month

   Good Morning everyone...
         I hope that all of you are well in health spirit and all the above. Here in the Pocono Mountain we are finally getting to enjoy some warm air but its still pretty cold for the season. We haven't begun to see much flowers bloom or trees sprout for that matter... not a good sign. We have not had rain showers and its May already. I have been watering the plants in the hopes to revive them but no luck.
          May is a special month for me. Not only did my first born daughter arrive 36 years ago ,but also a grandchild. My darling little bundle of joy who now turns 6 this year and reminds me everyday about her big day...also we have in this month Mother's day and Memorial Day. Sounds like a lot of barbecues (weather permitting), or at least readons to have one. This winter has been brutal to us here in the mountain.I hope not so tough by you....I am a firm believer that God has a plan and these things happen for a reason ... only he sees the bigger picture....

Thanking God for Friends

Hello all.... hope your day is full of blessings, love and peace....
Today was a good day for me and my close friend. She had lost her mother last month and had to clean the residence were her mom live to return the apartment back to the landlord... you just never realize how much stuff we have until we have to move... needless to say tons of memories. It is very difficult to pack your mothers things and get rid of it... impossible at times but with much prayer and friends you can do it..... so I had the privilidge ti help her ... we clean and pack a few days and then it was our final day.. we said a prayer and thank God for all the years that were given to enjoy life there for my friend as her mother raise her and her sister with the barely minimal as most single mothers do today....
Cherish your mom..
she is your everything at every occasion in your life.....you never expect to be loosing your mom at a young age but God has other plans...